He's everything that my better judgement tells me not to fall for, yet here I am, losing my balance on the edge of a cliff. &Who decides to finally shut up? My better judgement.

Dare I hope that it might actually be a good thing, despite the warnings of friends.?
Only time will tell. All I know is that there has only been one other guy who has ever made me feel like this.
I don't get nervous around people. But he makes me nervous. The thought, is absolutely terrifying. But it's the thrill of it all the I love. At least I think that's it. Again, only time will tell. &I it's meant to be, it will be.

The First Time, In A Long Time

Standing in the middle of my living room, I'm listening to my mom talking. I can hear my brother rev his motorcycle engine in the garage. A turn on the ball of my foot and walk out to see him, and before I know it, he and I are conversing. The whole thing is such an out of body experience. I go back into my living room and stand at the back door, just listening.
Listening to the music playing upstairs in my room, by brother working in the garage, my mom talking and laughing, and the birds chirping, noticing the simple way the tree limbs sway slightly in the soft summer breeze.
Meanwhile, I'm just standing there, with a cup of tea in my hands, listening. Observing. Enjoying. Peaceful.
Going back over the memories of the past few days that have made me laugh so hard they've brought me to tears. The experiences I've gone through lately, and just life in general.
For the First time in a long time, I can truly tell you that I'm happy. Nobody is fighting or bickering. No one is holding grudges. No one is dying to get out of the house and away from each other. Things are just how they're supposed to be. For me. For once. I don't feel like my life is flashing it's way by.
I may be out of my body and mind, but for once, I feel like I'm more me than I have been in years.
The family is together. We're all safe and healthy. We're not breathing down each others necks.
For the first time, we're all individuals, but all completely in harmony, in unison, and completely together.
I look around and think to myself, "My life, as far from perfect as it is, in this moment, is my definition of perfection."

This is why I have very few female friends

I just don't get it. something. Wry personal happens when I'm hanging out with friends and causes me to need to go home. I leave crying and don't say bye to anybody for fear of completely losing it. &Because I don't say bye, someone thinks I'm mad at her? &then chooses to pick a fight? Over absolutely nothing? OVER TWITTER?!
Haha I mean, come on, get over yourself, before you think it's all about you. Ever cross your mind that unjust didn't wanna talk about it? You may vent about everything right then and there, but you know that's not me. You've known me since 6th grade, is this really a surprise to you? I just don't understand why you're trying to start something over nothing. That has nothing to do with anything. &you're freaking out about something I posted online... Something that has absolutely nothing to do with you, or anyone you know...
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THE FEMALE MIND!!!!
:'(
Meh, someone, please explain it to me.