FRUSTRATION 

Do you ever just want to walk out into public, and just scream at the top of your lungs? 
Do you ever feel so out of place, you can't help but fight the urge to run as far away as fast as you can?
Do you ever feel so misunderstood that there's no point in even TRYING to explain yourself to people, because they will never get it?
Do you ever feel like you're doing something unique and totally original, just so that a week later, everybody is doing the exact same thing?
Do you ever feel like you are the only one who sees the truth, and everybody else is just stuck seeing a lie that is put forth?
DO you ever feel like you're the only one who gets it?
Do you ever feel like you're the only one in the world, that is any different from the rest of the carbon copies that walk around the streets?
Do you ever feel like you're the only one that people don't trust, just because you ARE the only one that they can?
Do you ever feel like a dirty, nasty, basic rock, surrounded by diamonds and rubies?
Do you ever feel like you have so much passion inside of you, and so much to offer the world, and so much that you want to do with your life, but nobody will take the time to listen to you, or even believe in you for that matter?
Do you ever feel like you're screaming in the middle of a crowded room, yet nobody can hear you?
Welcome to my life.

I HOPE YOU DANCE


Do you ever get the random feeling of wanting to get all dressed up, just so that you can go dance in the pouring rain? I do, all the time.

Do you ever just want to randomly break out into song and dance, just like they do in the movies? I do!

Do you ever want to just scream, in the middle of the day, at the worst possible time? Say the things that are truly on your mind? Tell people what you really think, tell teachers that you don't give a shit what they're talking about because you're never actually going to use it in your life? I know that I do!

Do you ever just want to do something, and your overflowing with emotion, but it has nowhere to go?

Have you ever been so passionate about something, and wanted to commit your life to it, to change something, to make a difference, but didn't have the slightest idea where to start?

Yeah, these are just a few of the random things that I've always wanted to do.
Someday, I will get all dressed up, do my hair and makeup, make it look professional, put on my best dress, just to walk outside, and dance in the rain. Someday, I will tell somebody what is really on my mind without thinking twice about the consequences, without being scared of offending someone, or losing a friend of my opinion.

I want to tell somebody what I think. I want to be able to get mad, get heated, get PASSIONATE about something. I'm so tired of walking on egg shells around people just so that they won't get mad at me about something trivial.


For once in my life, I want to be, and nobody else. I want to be ALL me. I want to do what I want to do, when I want to do it, and only because I want to do it. I want to go on adventures with different people. I want to meet new people. I want to say what's on my mind, without worrying if it will get to the wrong person. I want to be able to say what's on my mind, and not get in trouble for it.

I want to live my life, for once, for ME. I want to do whatever I want to do, and just do it all out. I want to do what I've never done. I want to talk to people I never have before, do things I've never done.

I want to feel so strongly about something, I can't help but make a difference. I want to feel so much for something, I can't help but cry. I want my heart to be so filled with ideas and passion, I have no other choice BUT to get out there & make a difference.

I want to live my life, and make it worth living. After this year, I refuse to waste my life away like so many people do.
"Live a life that demands explanation." That is the motto of Invisible Children. &It's a motto I plan on living by.

From here on out, I want to take every day, fill them with memories, laugh, cry, fall in love, break hearts, and change lives. I want to make my life, one for the books, even if it doesn't make it into any. I want to touch the hearts of millions of people. I want to make a difference in the world. I WILL make a difference in the world.

KE$HA

So, do I fit the stereotype yet?!
Gah, why is it anymore that everybody has to fit into one stereotype or another? Why can't we just be, us? Why can't I just be Lydia? Why do I have to fit into a mold that isn't me? Why do people that don't know me, judge me based on what I look like one day, or how I dress, or the fact that I have multiple piercings and tattoos? Does that really make me a 'rebel' or a 'bad kid'?
Yes? No? Sometimes on Tuesday?
Well it's stupid. I'm not a rebel, I'm not a bad kid, and I just because I have piercings and tattoos, that doesn't automatically throw me into a socially acceptable (or unacceptable) stereotype just so that you can tell your friends about me.


Yes, I listen to loud music. Yes, sometimes I drive faster than the posted speed limit, I spend my money as soon as I get it... SO WHAT?!

All my life I've been trying to please the people around me, always be the perfect student, be the best daughter I could be, and where has that gotten me? Nowhere. All it's done is made me into an emotional wreck. I'm distancing myself from friends, I'm becoming more and more of a homebody, I meet new people, and trust THEM more than the people I have known for years...

Since when can a person, not be their own person? When was the idea of originality totally lost on people? When did being unique, become a bad thing? People say that they hate blending into the crowd, but when the time finally comes to have the spotlight turned on them, and them alone, they don't want it anymore; instead they would have, at that moment, give anything to just be another face in the crowd.

Yes, I have more piercings than I do fingers. Yes I do have tattoos. Yes, I will be getting more of both. No, I don't do drugs. No, I don't drink. No, I don't party. My idea of a good time is a Friday night at home with a few good friends, watching romance movies, with ice cream & popcorn. Just because I look one part, doesn't mean that I fall into it.

I'm a contradiction. I'm a hypocrite. I'm NOT perfect. I'm, just, me. Take it or leave it, I don't care. Some people can handle me, some can't. But I can tell you this, if you can handle me at my worse (mental breakdown, emotional wreck and all), then you don't deserve me at my best. Keep that in mind before you go around judging me, or anybody else for that matter. I know that I'm not the only one who thinks this.


I hate days like today. The days that I can't make up my mind for the life of me, I can't seem to do anything right, and as soon as I do one things, I wish I hadn't. I think I want something, but as soon as I get it, I regret it. I wish my mind would just deal with itself and be fine with the choices it makes. What is the point of days like today? So I can feel like crap, incompetent, and like I can't do anything right? Gosh, as if being on the verge of a mental breakdown isn't bad enough. Bipolar emotions, choices that I wish I hadn't made, words that needed to be said, but were said at the wrong time in the wrong tone... It's days like today that I wish I could just leave my mind somewhere far far away from me. It's days like today that my mind, my brain, and my thoughts, are the things that get me into the most trouble.

TITLE-LESS?

So, I'm sick of always logging on and always seeing the name of the president, especially since I don't like him... SO, yeah.

NEXT!

Ugh, there is so much to say, but yet again, there just aren't enough words to do any of them justice.
First of all, I SUCK at picking my friends. I have always known this, but I always think that the new friends that I make will be different, and actually be a good friend, but truth be told, I just have horrible taste in friends. Now I'm by no means putting the blame on the people that I am friends with, but instead all on me.

I somehow manage to always find the friends that take advantage:
They always borrow money, and never pay back the full amount,
They always make me drive, even though they're fully capable,
They always guilt trip me into doing things,
They are always dependent.

I'm a very independent person, so when people get really clingy, I get really annoyed. And when I get annoyed I get really rude. I can't stand it when other people can't stand to do anything alone, so they choose to never leave my side. EVER. Seriously, get a higher self esteem.

Yeah, I had so much more to say, but I'm done. I don't have the energy anymore... :/
Graduation needs to hurry the hell up. End of Story.

BARACK OBAMA

Those two words are the worst thing to ever happen to this country. At this point, I don't care if you support him wholeheartedly, I HATE him wholeheartedly.

I
HATE
BARACK
OBAMA

Yep, that's all. He promised us all change, well, the only change I've seen is the economy getting worse by the day, gas prices going through the roof, people getting poorer and poorer, and Obama doing absolutely nothing about it. Cutting miltary pays? Does he really think that will solve anything? Why doesn't he give up HIS salary? He isn't doing anybody any good, so why should he get paid to do that. He's ruining everything this country has prided itself on being, and in a matter of 2 years he's already this country a crap hole. That's all.


THANK GOD I AM REPUBLICAN!

PAPER vs CANVAS

When it comes to life, which one can get your farther? Book smarts, or art smarts?

People with books smarts know everything there is to know about everything, usually discluding common sense. They look at everything for the logic that it has to offer, and anything outside of what is usually accepted, it considered wrong.

People with an eye for art, see the small things in life for something extravagant. They can take the smallest thing that usually goes unnoticed in everyday life, and make it into something beautiful, just by showing the world how they see that one thing.

I was talking to my digital photography teacher after school, and we got to talking, and it made me wonder. Yes, both 'smarts' are good to have, but most people don't have the brains to think both ways. And the sad part of it all is that the two opposite people, rarely see eye to eye with one another.

The booky person may see something one way, when the artsy persy can see it for something totally different. I personally believe that arts will get you further in life, but I am also more of the artsy type. You may choose to sit in a lecture hall for hours on end, always grasping what the teacher is rambling on and on about, but I would much prefer to be outdoors, with my camera in one hand, and paper and a pencil in the other. I would much rather be writing about what I know, taking pictures alongside, than sitting in a stuffy classroom, learning about things that I see as extremely irrelevant to my life.

But when it comes straight down to it, which one really gets your farther?

Books smarts can get you into all of the right schools, with all of the right professors, with all of the right degrees.

Art smarts gets you into all of your dreams, a chance to show the world what you see, and a chance to get your work, out in the eye of the public.

Now, granted, when I say it like that, yes, it may seem like books smarts will get your farther...

But if you think about it, it all comes down to the person you're referring to. Yes, books may be able to get me farther in life if I took the time to sit down and teach myself every useless thing there is to know in this lifetime.

OR

I could go out into the world, travel to every country in every continent, photographing it all, showing the world what I see, and writing about it all the while.

I, Lydia Armstrong, when given the choice, will ALWAYS choose the latter.

But that's just me.

When it comes to you, your life, &your interest, which do you think can get YOU farther in life?

LIFE

You love to hate it. I love to hate it. Life is the most magical thing we have, and yet, it's also the most treacherous. With life, you get the good with the bad, the positive with the negative, the happy with the sad. There are so many things to talk about it, but as soon as my mind moves from one topic to another, I begin to forget the first one.

Parents. Yes, we all love them, and we need them, but do we really need them around 100% of the time?! I mean, I ask for your opinion, and you refuse to give it to me; you come back with trivial questions that are supposed to make me think more about what I'm asking you. I don't care to hear what you think about something because in this day-in-age, you are bound to not get it, yet you insist on throwing in your two sense. I say I hate something, you tell me I hate myself. No, actually, I don't hate myself, thank you. I hate the way technology works, and I hate it when it doesn't function like it is supposed to.

Friends. What is the point in having a million friends when you can't even really trust the majority of them? Yes, it is important lesson in life to be friendly to those around you and those that you love, but do you really have to trust all of your secrets with ALL of your friends? I, personally, can count the number of true friends I have on one hand. Good or bad? That's all in the eye of the beholder. Friends are bound to get mad at each other for things, but is it really necessary to hold a grudge against someone, when maybe YOU were the one that was in the wrong? Is it too much for me to ask you to DEBATE whether or not you were the one in the wrong, or am I bound to always be seen as the bad person, the bad friend, or just the one who can do no right?

Yes, because if this stupid thing you started, our friendship will never be the same. Congratulations, you just lost one of the few people in life that can actually stand to be around you for more than 5 minutes at a time. Look at you, you just got rejected from your top few colleges, and you lost a good friends on top of that. Well done. My hat is off to you.

Boys. Will teen girls every realize that there is more to high school than cute boys? Yes, there is always a plus being able to see the quarter back on the football team one row in front of you in math class, but what is the point of getting all worked up over somebody you probably won't ever talk to? Do your self a favor; take your head out of the clouds for 2 seconds, come back down to earth, and realize that you're not giving the real guys in school the time of day.

Teenagers. Tell me this, what is it with all of the nice, genuine girls in school, going for the bad boy that will inevitable cheat on them? What is the point of the respectable guy in school going for the slut that will cheat on them and then lie about it in the end? Do teens anymore really not have the self respect to get over the stupid stereotypes? For crying out loud, get over what other people want you to do and say, or who they want you to date. After high school, none of it matters anymore. Why would you want to waste 4 years of your life, listening to people who are bound to steer you in the wrong direction? Friends usually have good intentions, but they are sometimes bound together with the wrong idea. And another thing, while on the topic of teenagers, what is it with people being so hard headed? NO, it is by no means a bad thing, but we all have to refuse to listen to somebody else for 2 seconds of our lives? Why can't we all just put aside our differences so we can resolve a misunderstanding? Why can't we get over our ego so that we can just say that we're sorry for everything that has happened, and then move on? I am one of the most hard headed people that anyone will ever meet, but I don't see the point in not being able to take a little constructive criticism without freaking out on the person that was just trying to help out in the first place...

&another thing, what is it with everybody 'not caring' what anyone else thinks? Yes, for some people it's true, but I highly doubt that every single person that says it, doesn't mean it. But is it really a bad thing to care about what others think of you? Now, I'm not saying, by any means, that it should rule your life what your peers think of you. All I'm saying is simply that if there is something about you that a ton of people in your life think you should change, would it really be a bad thing to at least take into consideration what they're saying?

Don't get me wrong, these are just some of the things that get me thinking as I walk around school, or the things that I notice at work. I'm guilty of a lot of these things. I'm not saying that I'm perfect because I am FAR from it. I just think these are some of the things that are pretty big things anymore, when they really shouldn't necessarily be that big of a deal...

--KFeldman, SWilliams, ASottosanti, CArmstrong, Mom, Dad, LIFE