KE$HA

So, do I fit the stereotype yet?!
Gah, why is it anymore that everybody has to fit into one stereotype or another? Why can't we just be, us? Why can't I just be Lydia? Why do I have to fit into a mold that isn't me? Why do people that don't know me, judge me based on what I look like one day, or how I dress, or the fact that I have multiple piercings and tattoos? Does that really make me a 'rebel' or a 'bad kid'?
Yes? No? Sometimes on Tuesday?
Well it's stupid. I'm not a rebel, I'm not a bad kid, and I just because I have piercings and tattoos, that doesn't automatically throw me into a socially acceptable (or unacceptable) stereotype just so that you can tell your friends about me.


Yes, I listen to loud music. Yes, sometimes I drive faster than the posted speed limit, I spend my money as soon as I get it... SO WHAT?!

All my life I've been trying to please the people around me, always be the perfect student, be the best daughter I could be, and where has that gotten me? Nowhere. All it's done is made me into an emotional wreck. I'm distancing myself from friends, I'm becoming more and more of a homebody, I meet new people, and trust THEM more than the people I have known for years...

Since when can a person, not be their own person? When was the idea of originality totally lost on people? When did being unique, become a bad thing? People say that they hate blending into the crowd, but when the time finally comes to have the spotlight turned on them, and them alone, they don't want it anymore; instead they would have, at that moment, give anything to just be another face in the crowd.

Yes, I have more piercings than I do fingers. Yes I do have tattoos. Yes, I will be getting more of both. No, I don't do drugs. No, I don't drink. No, I don't party. My idea of a good time is a Friday night at home with a few good friends, watching romance movies, with ice cream & popcorn. Just because I look one part, doesn't mean that I fall into it.

I'm a contradiction. I'm a hypocrite. I'm NOT perfect. I'm, just, me. Take it or leave it, I don't care. Some people can handle me, some can't. But I can tell you this, if you can handle me at my worse (mental breakdown, emotional wreck and all), then you don't deserve me at my best. Keep that in mind before you go around judging me, or anybody else for that matter. I know that I'm not the only one who thinks this.


I hate days like today. The days that I can't make up my mind for the life of me, I can't seem to do anything right, and as soon as I do one things, I wish I hadn't. I think I want something, but as soon as I get it, I regret it. I wish my mind would just deal with itself and be fine with the choices it makes. What is the point of days like today? So I can feel like crap, incompetent, and like I can't do anything right? Gosh, as if being on the verge of a mental breakdown isn't bad enough. Bipolar emotions, choices that I wish I hadn't made, words that needed to be said, but were said at the wrong time in the wrong tone... It's days like today that I wish I could just leave my mind somewhere far far away from me. It's days like today that my mind, my brain, and my thoughts, are the things that get me into the most trouble.