OVER-
INSPIRED

There is just so much to talk about, my mind is about to explode! My mind won't stop racing, my mouth can't stop moving, my body can't stop twitching, and my fingers can't type it all fast enough.

I'm rediscovering who I was last year and every day it gets harder and harder for me to remember why I changed in the first place. High school is suck a fake place to be. People are over dramatic, rude, self centered, selfish, backstabbing, short tempered, and not even close to understanding. They're all so quick to believe something that's not even partially true. People take sides of a fight that shouldn't be a fight at all. Friends take misunderstanding, and stop talking to each other based on what someone else said or did.
I miss being the me that was loud &obnoxious. I miss being outspoken. I miss being able to stand my ground. I miss having people's respect. I miss honest friends. I miss having people around me that wanted to know what was wrong when they asked, not just asking because they felt obligated to. I miss being able to be me, and having people love me for exactly that. Anymore, I feel more and more artificial. I feel like I have to dress a certain way, be friends with certain people, talk a certain way, and do certain things. Maybe it's Pine Creek, maybe it's just high school. But after talking to an old friend who told me that I AM allowed to speak my mind, stand up for what I believe in, and make people mad, it made me ask myself why exactly have I spend this much of my SENIOR YEAR walking on egg shells just to please everyone around me, when I'm no longer happy.
Friends get mad at me for 'walking away' or for not going to class? Like, really?! Yes, it's called walking away to avoid a potential fight, which then gets turned into a huge fight in which we don't even talk to each other. It's like middle school all over again. AWESOME!
I say I will go to class, but then decide against it. What's the point of me going to a class when I have nothing to do, I have a 95% in there, and I have no other homework to do. Sue me, but I see driving all the way to school just so that you don't have to sit in class alone because you don't know how to make friends kind of pathetic. Yes, I love you; we've been friends since before I can remember, but honestly. Make new friends, venture out of your comfort zone, life will be much harder if you don't.
I'm sick of having friends that make me feel bad, guilt trip me, take advantage of me, and try to walk all over me. I'm done with it. Do whatever you want with your other friends, but you're done screwing me over. RIGHT NOW.
I need more laid back friends! I mean, it's so stupid when people get mad at you for things like not playing games made for five year olds and getting mad for not going to class. My mom has no problem with me not going, so why do you? I mean, come on!
Did none of you grow up at all?! Grow up, get over, and move one. People will do worse things than that in life, and if you're going to get mad at the trivial things like that, then I guarantee life will be hella hard for you once you get thrust into the real world. Have fun with that one! I'm sick of immature friends that make me feel bad for stupid things. I need friends who can say what they feel, and laugh at their own mistakes. I need friends who just want to have a good time &have no problem making last minute plans. I need friends who are just as carefree and obnoxious as I am...
I'm done. With it all. It's stupid and such a waste of time. You don't like it, grow a pair and tell me. That way we can just get over it and move one.
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I need to surround myself with people who know how to have a good time, don't get hung up on the little things, and are careless &carefree. I need a road trip, desperately! I want the California weather, laughter of my friends, and way too much sunshine.


I need out of High School, or better yet, AMERICA! I want to go to Europe or Australia. I want to learn a new language, I want to ride an elephant, I want to experience new things, learn about a different religion, work for a nonprofit organization, and SO MUCH MORE. I know I always tell people around me to enjoy today, and embrace the things that are going on right now, but at this point, I need out of high school. I'm sick of the fake people, the stupid drama, and the immature 'friends' that I've come to make. I want to drive across the country, I want to visit every continent, I want to have a chalk fight, I want to make a music video, I want to meet people like Ghandi and Lauren Conrad. My mind is dehydrated of knowledge; relevant knowledge. I'm sick of the stupid things I learn in the classroom that I retain for a week just so I can pass a test, and then forget it. I want to learn about things that can change my life. I want to do things that will change somebody else's life. I want to change the WORLD.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9tJW9MDs2M
That's really ambitious for an 18 year old to say, but I do. I hate what the world has come to, and I know there is so much potential, but I think 99% of it goes unnoticed. I want to travel the world and photograph it all. I want to go where few have gone before. I want to go into the African Sahara and meet face to face with a deadly lion. I want to go on a Safari and see all of the animals I only see in zoos. I want to write articles that can change someone's perspective on things. I want to do so many things, I can't even contain myself anymore.
Society expects me to go to college right after high school. Well, that idea is not for me, and I now know that. I will go to college... Eventually. But I'm going to travel the world and live out my dreams before I put first what society expects of me.

And what's the deal with music lately?! I mean, anymore, I turn on the radio and all I hear is a different version of the exact same thing. Different lyrics, yes, but the same idea. Music has lost most of it's meaning, and it's lost its passion. Plus, what's the deal with singers?
I mean, I can listen to one song by one artist, but if a different artist suddenly does the same song, people can't stand it. I mean, shouldn't music be about the lyrics? There are so many different artists that I find somewhat annoying but when I listen to the lyrics they sing about, that's when I realize that they're not nearly as bad as I thought before.
Just a few days ago, I was on YouTube and a new Justin Bieber song came up on the sidebar of related songs, and I clicked on it. Usually I wouldn't have because his voice I find somewhat annoying, and the fact that he's like ,15 and already has a memoir out, I just find that absolutely ridiculous. But the song that I clicked on I had seen posted on a friend's Facebook wall, so I listed to it. As I was listening to it and watching the video, I realized that that song was what music should be about. It should be about something that touches your heart, it should have lyrics that has the power to give you goosebumps, and should have the power to make you think about something besides your life for 3 minutes. I still find his voice kind of irritating, but because of that song, I have given his music a chance.
But if you compare that JB song to other songs to other songs that are big, most other songs are about things that are stupid and does nothing but put pleasure into your ears for a few seconds. I believe that this is exactly why very few actually listen to the radio anymore, because all of the stations play the same songs, and I get tired of hearing the same songs every two seconds.
Shouldn't music be purely about loving the art, no matter who the artist is? I have friends who get so opinionated about artists, it get's irritating. So you don't like her voice, then don't listen to her music. So you hate his personality that is we know only because of the tabloids? Then don't buy his latest CDs. Common sense people! Let's start using a little of it, yeah?

Yeah, so just a few things on my mind, and the best part? This isn't even half of it. HA


--SWilliams, SLaird, KFeldman