UGH, FML

Yes, I am 18, &yes, I have braces. Get the hell over it already! I've had them for the past two years, and I have to have them for one more. Yes, it sucks, but to be frank, I don't care what you say. I forget the fact that I have them, until someone like you manages to bring it up, and then I feel like crap about myself.
I have braces, cool. You have a gap, great. We all have imperfections, get over it.

I love my life, don't get me wrong, but why is is that as soon as one thing goes wrong, that's when the universe just decides to pile in everything else that could go wrong, all into one incredibly terrible day? I mean, why can't it all just happen slowly? Why does it all have to be piled into one day, so that it takes weeks and weeks to recover from?
&the worst part is that it's not even necessarily life, it's my mind. When I get alone, my mind races about too many things all at once, and then reality hits me like a ton of bricks.
I'm broke. I have less than $200 in the bank. I have to pay for gas &car insurance. I'm only working three days a week. I have minimal income. I can't seem to find a new job. I need new work clothes but have no money to buy any. I want new sunglasses. I'm addicted to spending money, even when I have none, and every day it just gets worse. I have NO money at all, I owe my mom nearly $300, and I'm so screwed!!!!
I can't even explain. I know this sounds selfish, but I wish I would just fall into money and there be no catches to it at all. I wish I could win the lottery, get a new job that pays like crazy, get a job that's easy and that I love, that I could work 30 hours a week, and NOT fall behind in my school work.
I just don't know what to do anymore. It seems like anymore, I'm not enough. I don't have enough money, I don't have enough clothes, I don't have enough time, I don't have enough of a brain, I don't have enough patience, I don't have the looks, I've lost my true personality. &so much more.
I'm lost. I'm suffocating in my life. That's sad to say, but there's nothing new for me. I'm dying a slow death living in this place. There are no new friends, no new adventures, and I always get stuck being the chauffeur with nobody willing to help out with gas or any other costs. I won't have presents for my friends, and I feel terrible.
I'm suffocating in more ways than one. My friends seem to be disappearing buy the day, my money is going my the second, and my dreams are going my the day.
I feel like I'm never good enough. I spend hours, days, months, YEARS trying to be average, but I still can't reach that. I feel like I'm drowning in this life, and even when I'm swimming with all of my strength, the chains on my ankles are stronger than I ever could be. I'm at the point of being... dare I say, hopeless.
When I wake up in the morning, I won't feel like this, but I do right now. Someone needs to save me, from... ME. I will be the death of myself. I'm my worst critic, I'm the meanest person to me, and I'm too hard on myself. I'm not used to being bad at everything, so this is new.
The three classes that I'm currently failing, are the three classes I need to graduate. I'm screwed in more way than one. I know I will pull it off, I have to. I just don't know how I'm going to do that...

I feel like I'm living in a sea of opportunities, but I'm the last fish in line for any of them... I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm lost, with no direction to follow.

--JGarcia, Myself