CALL ME A DREAMER

I have too many guy friends to count... Maybe that's why no guys will date me? It is intimidation? Do they fear that just because I have more guy friends than girl friends that I won't be as committed to them? Well too bad nobody knows me well enough to know different, or be told different for that matter... :(

I may hang out with a ton of guys, and I may laugh with them that seems like flirting, but it's really not. And flirting, does it always have to mean that you really like someone? Well, it shouldn't. Part of the fun of being a teenager is being able to flirt with anyone and everyone, regardless of how you really feel about them. I talk and laugh with guys that have broken my friends' hearts, with guys my friends like, and with guys I've never spoken to be in my life. Some people see that has flirting, and that's what loses friends, and makes enemies, and starts stupid rumors, but I just see it as being friendly and knowing how to go with the flow of life.

Besides, if a guy is going to base how I would be as a girlfriend, on how I act when I'm around other guys, maybe I don't want to date them after all. I want to date a guy that will know that I'm his, and that even though I laugh and mess around with other guys doesn't mean that he doesn't have all of my heart.

I'm the kind of person that will fight for what I want until the life fades from inside me. When I see something that I want, I will fight for it whole-heartedly. I want a guy that will fight for me, even if he knows that means giving me the power to break his heart. I want someone to be able to trust me enough to put all of their trust in me and know that I won't betray that. I value, to the highest degree, all of my guy friends, but is it such a bad thing to want more?

I want to be the one that gets hugs before and after class from the guy I've fallen head over heels for. I want to be the one that he can take out with the guys, and not be afraid that I'm going to ruin a good night of fun. I want to be the one that he's proud to show off to his friends. I want to be the girl he can talk to all night long, and never want to stop talking to. I just want a guy to chase me, instead of the other way around.

I want a guy to know that I have so much love to give, I just have to be given a chance. I want a guy to take a chance on me, and be thankful he did. I want to be, for once in my freaking life, the 'girlfriend' that everyone talks about.

Yeah, if only. Welcome to my nightly dreams. Call me a hopeless romantic, I call it too much Taylor Swift :)