IT'S ALL MY FAULT.

I’m so sorry.
For everything.
I hate to say this, but I miss you. I didn’t think I ever would, but I do.
I miss your laughs. I miss the things you would tell only me. I miss your (long, lingering) hugs. And I miss you.
It pains me more than you may know to see you try to be strong when I know it’s not true.
Part of me knows what you said is true, but most of me doesn’t want to believe it.
I see the way you look at her: you never looked at me like that.
You took what I told you and used it on her: you never did on me.
I may not have meant much to you, but you meant everything to me.
They say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone: this proves just that.
I know you want to make it out to be nothing, but I know it’s not true for one reason and one reason only: You and Me. We’re the same.
The same walls around our hearts.
The same rough outer shell, begging (in silence) for somebody to fight for us, for somebody to want to break through.
The same desire for somebody to prove to us that they care enough to take the leap.
The same nonchalant attitude when we find out the truth.
The same way we don’t get attached to anybody because then it might mean, dare I say, we actually care.
And yet we’re different, in just one way:
You’re the better actor.


I now know our friendship is over.
I have nobody but myself to blame for that. I just hope one day you find someone that you can finally let in.
Somebody that will make you realize we were all just pages of the story to finding yourself.
And the one who will prove to you that she wants in and won’t stop trying to get in.
She’ll be better than me.
She’ll be better than her.
She won’t be good enough for you,
But she’ll be the one.
I mean this when I say it:
I love you.
I always have and I know I always will.
You won’t cross my mind every day, in fact, once we go our separate ways, the idea that I ever think of you will be few and far between, but I can promise you one thing:
When you do come to mind, I will always remember the time we [almost] had something; we taught each other nothing, yet learned so much.
Please promise me one thing:
Be careful who you trust, but not so careful you remember how to trust.
Most of all though, when you do finally meet someone worth letting in, don’t think twice about it. Giving her the power to break your heart is the strongest thing you can do.
Don’t push her away; don’t let anybody steal her away.
I’m sorry for everything.
I love you.
I miss you.
I fear this is goodbye.

--RBahu